What's the deal with Walmart Pharmacy?

Sometimes I just don't understand the Pharmacy at Wal-mart. Maybe I should stop going there. :)  I assume that I won't be able to get 90 days worth of my generic cholesterol medicine for $5 somewhere else. Maybe I should find out.  In any case, while I do still go to Wal-mart, here are some suggestions:

1) Can we get an express lane for people who just want to "Drop Off" prescriptions at the "Drop Off" window and "Pick Up" prescriptions at the "Pick Up" window?  Without fail, every time I go to do either, the person or persons in front of me in line take 5-10 minutes to do whatever it is they're trying to do.  I don't know enough about what the possibilities are up there to even know what else they could be doing. I know when I go up there I either hand them my prescription, or they hand me my pills.  It's a matter of moments. Maybe they could put a "0 questions or less" sign on this hypothetical express line, so people would understand it's like the express lane up at the grocery checkout.

2) Why does it take a minimum of 45 minutes to count out 90 pills and put them in a little bottle? Once or twice I've dropped off my prescription and waited for it to be done, but it seems like it should be pretty straightforward. Now I just leave my prescription and say I'll come back the next day for it.

3) Last night, after I had signed and paid for my prescription, I had to go to a different line (the "Consultation" window) so that the pharmacist could put my pill bottle in the Wal-mart pharmacy bag. Huh? I mean she did ask me if I was having any muscle pain, which, thankfully, I'm not.  But why couldn't the clerk put my pills in a bag? Weird.

Anyway, I guess, as usually happens, you get what you pay for, right? :) As I only have to do this once every 3 months, I'll live with it for now.

The Most Confusing Sign I Know

So, I've been living full-time on the east side of the Salt Lake Valley for about 10 years now, and I know my way around pretty well. And given the grid layout of our main roads and addresses when I don't know exactly where something is, I can usually figure it out pretty easily. One of the things that took me the longest time to learn was which of the Cottonwood canyons (Big & Little) was which. They both are fairly big if you ask me. :)

Over time I've learned that Big Cottonwood comes first (when you're coming from the north) and Little Cottonwood is second. But I don't feel like this is something I should have had to learn. With the simplest of signage, the Department of Transportation, or whoever is in charge of road signs, could clearly delineate which canyon is which. Sadly, they've instead given us this atrocity:



There are names of canyons, highway numbers, and the names of ski resorts all over this mess. On one side the highway number is at the top, on the other it's in the middle. There's a snowflake doing something up there (I guess letting people know there might be snow in the canyon).

The label for "Big Cottonwood" is stuck in between both arrows, but maybe a little closer to the up arrow, and the "Little Cottonwood" label isn't really by either one, maybe a little closer to the left arrow, but it's on the right side of the sign. The truth is that you need to turn left to get to Big Cottonwood and go straight to get to Little Cottonwood. If you happen to know which ski resort you want to go to, you could (rightly) assume that turning left would take you to the resorts on that side of the sign, and staying straight would then be the way to get to the others. But if you aren't headed to a ski resort (there are plenty of other places to go in either canyon) you're stuck with the confusing arrows and labels.

Anyway, this sign has been there as long as I can remember, and I finally was able to get a picture of it this summer. After driving past it numerous times and wishing I had a camera with me.

Thoughts during my commute this morning

How is it that on perhaps the best non-freeway thoroughfare in the valley (700 East), there are three separate school zones? 3 times during my commute all the cars have to slow down from 45+ to 20-. Can't they make 7th East the boundary or something so that kids don't have to cross it to get to school?

Also, this morning while driving in one of these school zones, an ambulance showed up going the opposite direction. My question is: Does the ambulance have to slow down in the school zone? Which takes precendence?

A plea on behalf of singles everywhere

Two good friends of mine married each other on Friday, and I had the opportunity to go to their reception that night. As the evening was nearing its end, it came time for the part of the reception that pretty much all single people over the age of 21 detest. Thats right, the bouquet/garter toss. I don't know if this comes as a surprise to you, dear reader, or not. But I can't recall having been at a reception where this was anything but awkward and uncomfortable.

Why is that you say? For starters, it feels like us single folks are being paraded out for everyone to look at. "Everyone who isn't married yet, come stand over here. We want to see who is the most desperate to grab something we're going to throw that, as legend has it, will indicate who is the next person who will get married." So it always takes like 5 minutes to drag all, or most, of the single people out to the designated spot. Then there's the moment when everyone tries not to be in the front of the group, which means that the group slowly moves backward away from the person doing the throwing. Now, bouquets seem to fly pretty well through the air, but garters are pretty much not going more than 10 feet tops. Which means that generally the garter is going to land on the ground even if the person in front actually wants to catch it, and generally they don't. And what a person does with one of those if they do catch it is beyond me. Am I going to hang it on the wall or something? Thankfully, I've been able to avoid grabbing one so far.

Anyway, as you can tell, this whole scene is pretty awkward and embarrassing for everyone involved. I'm not going to come out and say that it has to be stopped, although that would be nice. No one really believes that catching the item will actually increase their chances of getting married, or whatever its supposed to mean, so you're going to be hard pressed to find a group of singles who are excited about participating in this tradition.

But if it can't be stopped, I suggest at least making a little change. I've suggested before that people getting married ought to give gifts to their single friends. Well here is an excellent way to go about it. When you drag them out to humiliate them, by expecting them to jump like trained dolphins for the stuff you are going to throw, at least compensate them a bit. How? By taping some cold, hard cash to the the bouquet and garter. The reception is already costing you an arm and a leg. Why not take $100 and split it up between the bouquet and the garter? If I know single people, and I think I do, you're going to get a lot better response if there's a fisky coming to the person who catches it. The amount probably needs some experimenting. You don't want to incite a riot, but you do want people to be excited about it. Either way, your single friends will appreciate the thought.

Anyway, thats my rant for today.

Sometimes the tooth hurts

I went to the dentist this morning to get a filling adjusted that was causing me some discomfort, and in the end, I think I did get that problem fixed, but ended up leaving with a new trouble spot. Its always so hard for me to tell how its going to be until I leave and eat something. I'm starting to get pretty frustrated with the whole situation. I feel bad that I keep having problems, but I don't think its my fault. I'm not the dentist. He is.

I think I'm loosing my mind

UPDATE (10/22/07): Sometimes lately I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle. Everywhere I look, people are loosing things. Not so much in published pieces, although I do catch it there occasionally , but definitely its rampant in online text. I realize that words change when you add -ing at the end, but if anything it would be the consonant that would change from lose to lossing, but not even that rule applies here. C'mon people. I feel like I'm loosing you. The next time I hear someone use it like that I'm going to tell them to "Get Loosed". That'll show them.

UPDATE (9/11/06): The article has now been fixed. Should have taken a screen cap to post here. Oh well. At least someone, somewhere, realizes that loose does not mean the same as lose.

UPDATE (9/11/06): Long time readers will remember the post below where I bemoaned the use of the word "loose" in the place of "lose". Just this morning I am perusing the online version of the Salt Lake Tribune, only to find this headline: "Needy Utahns loose food stamps." Maybe I have loosed my mind.

********************************

And not just because a post that I had up disappeared and had to be salvaged from a permanent link that a friend's feed reader happened to hang on to.

It actually because I've seen the word "loose" be used to mean "lose" so many time lately that I'm starting to wonder if I'm the one using it incorrectly. I was just reading someone's profile that said "I love loosing myself in a good book." Last semester when I was grading papers I saw the word "loose" used uncountable times in place of "lose". And these are graduate students. Granted not all of them speak great English, but every team had some born and raised "Englicans." You would think that they would pick that up in proofreading (not that the quality of writing indicated any kind of proofreading).

Did I miss somewhere where this was an alternate spelling or something?

The EMF

You know how some girls have a guy friend who is always around, and clearly the guy is in love with her, but she either doesn't realize (how could she not?) or pretends to not realize because she either a) doesn't want to deal with the situation, or b) doesn't want to lose his friendship. I always think those guys must have no self-esteem. Usually they've either tried to date the girl and gotten shot down or haven't tried assuming they'd be shot down, and in the aftermath, are hanging on to the "lets just be friends" olive branch like a drowning man hanging on to a floating piece of debris. I like to think of this guy as the Ever-present Male Friend or EMF.

I'm never quite sure how girls fall for this tactic. Here's the truth: guys don't want to be friends with girls they are attracted to. They want to date them. If you break up with a guy and he says he still wants to be friends or he agrees to still be friends, its because he hopes that there's still a chance he can make it from "just friends" back to "more than friends". Its not because he just enjoys your company and accepts the fact that you aren't interested. And now that they are "just friends" they'll jump at any chance to spend time with their "BFF". In fact they are pretty much inseparable. Girls love someone who will listen to them and can also give a man's perspective on things.

Seriously, though, don't you have to kind of pity those guys? Its just not an easy situation to be in. Its much less of an ego-swallowing ordeal to just walk away from the situation than to just be friends. Maybe, given sufficient time, a guy can get past the feelings he had for her and move on, but its not happening overnight, and even then he's not going to want to be her best friend. And until he's been able to move on, the last thing he wants is to hear her talk about guys that she's interested in or watch other guys try to make a move on her. I think this is part of what leads to the everpresent-ness of this guy. He wants to do all he can to keep her from dating other guys or for other guys to become better friends with her than he is, even though its pretty much inevitable. I always think these guys have pretty much given up on dating, and the best thing that could possibly happen for them is for her to get married. Hopefully, marriage is a sufficiently clear signal that she's not changing her mind.

On occasion, the rare fellow does manage to get back into her good graces (see the Persistence Theory), although sometimes its more because he's been so effective at scaring off other potential suitors. And honestly, its a bit of a turn-off when a girl who has some hanger-on guy always calling her up to do stuff and always there with her at everything, even though they are "just friends".

Strangely I kind of found myself in this same kind of situation in the last year or so. There was a girl that I was into, and went on a few dates and then her interest started to wane and then finally she told me that maybe it was best if we didn't date any more. "Out of fairness to [me]" of course. But could we please still be friends. Because she really thinks I'm cool and that she has a lot of fun with me.

Now in case you've already forgotten, "guys don't want to be friends with girls they are attracted to." Anyway, in the aftermath of my own "lets just be friends" moment, I've really struggled with whether its worth hanging on and being "that guy" that I've pitied in so many other instances. I mean I really do enjoy spending time with this girl, and of course I think she's attractive. But I can't feel right pretending that I only want to be friends, and my ego doesn't really want me to be that kind of guy either.

I, mean, I do still call her and email her and on occasion have a longer chat with her, and part of me still holds out hope that someday she might change her mind. But I also hope I'm not being the EMF. I hope I've been pretty clear about what my feelings are, and I would never tell her that I'm fine to "just be friends" with her, and in the meantime I've been doing my best to meet other girls and date in the hopes of finding someone I can feel the same way about. But I guess if I actually believed that the EMF strategy would ultimately be successful I'd consider it more seriously. The honest truth is I don't think I could live with myself as that guy.

Thoughts?

Oh yeah? You don't say.

Being one summertime away from my 29th birthday and continuing to be a (faithful) single Latter-day Saint, I hear a lot about marriage. In fact, just this past Sunday, our high council speaker's wife felt like it was important for us to hear about the importance of marriage. She introduced her topic by saying she'd talked to a couple other single members of our stake and said that she was planning to speak about marriage. One, a guy, said "Please don't", and another, a girl said "Oh yes, please do." And she decided to side with the girl. I think at that point approximately half the men in our ward tuned out. When she launched into a talk from Elder Bednar that started with "Temple marriage is essential for our salvation", I'm pretty sure that the other half hit the mental snooze button.

Not to say that we don't care about marriage or don't realize its importance. I'm sure there are a few recalcitrant ones who don't agree to that or who really are putting off marriage because they don't think they can afford it right now. But I would say that the vast majority of LDS single men are not married because they haven't found what they're looking for, or when they did find it, it wasn't looking for them. Not because they figured they'd sail right on into the celestial kingdom without a spouse. Trust me, we're all well aware of the fact that only married people can go to the highest degree of glory. We hear it at least several times a year if not several times a month. So if you are worried that we aren't getting the hint, don't worry.

Along the lines of talks on missionary work, most talks on marriage fall into the camp of telling you how important it is, without giving you much in the way of how to go about doing it. Most marriage talks tell you that its important to be willing to be selfless and sacrificing and to treat your wife with the utmost of love and respect, and that qualities like a testimony and potential for being a good mother should be looked for above qualities like attractiveness. But rare is the talk that attempts to give a man some guidance in how to go about winding up with a wife in the end.

So essentially, several times a year, we get to sit and listen about how we need a woman to be our help-meet, and that she should be someone more spiritual than ourselves (a topic that deserves its own post), and that without her we're pretty much on the express train to ministering angel town, but without actually giving any counsel on how to actually get married, other than that we need to "date more". Keep in mind that most of the guys truly do want to be married. Pounding us over the head with how screwed we're going to be if we don't get married isn't going to do anything other than make us think that its not even worth trying any more. Meanwhile, the sisters get the whole "if things don't work out in this life, there's always the next" routine, as though if you haven't already gotten married by age 27, you must already be worried about your own personal salvation. (What happens to single people after age 30? Do they just leave the church? Has anyone ever actually gotten married in their 30s?)

Anyway, I'm sure there are topics here that could use some expansion, but for now lets just say that if you are worried that single adult men in the LDS church aren't aware that marriage is a requirement for exaltation, you can sleep easy knowing that we get the picture.

Sometimes it just nice to know that I'm not a jerk

Tonight I played some pick-up basketball at a church with a group of people, only one of whom I really knew previously. The group was pretty varied in their talent levels, ranging from a couple guys who were decently quick and could knock down a 3, down to a couple people who were really lucky to make an open lay-up. Of course, that latter group could include me since I missed what felt like at least 20 gimmes. Of course its been at least a year since I even laced up my basketball sneaks and played in even a pickup game. Oh, and I forgot to mention this was co-ed with two girls who could hold their own with this crowd, (one tall, one short) and two who really were overmatched for the most part.

Anyway, now that I've set up the scenario for you, let me just say that one guy who was there was a jerk. There are a lot of other terms that come to mind for what I'd like to call him, but they just aren't appropriate in this forum. But he was that insidious type of jerk who doesn't really ever quite cross the line. Just in the way he carried himself and some of the things he did, it was clear that he had some real issues. I'm going to list a couple examples of things he did that just really irked me, and unless you play pickup ball you might not really understand.

#1) He thought he was pretty much the shizz, and I'll grant that he was quick and knocked down a couple tough shots. He tried to take me one-on-one quite a few times when I was guarding him and he thought he had some nifty spin moves, but they weren't really all that nifty, because he could really only go right in the end, although he did make some fade-aways and got past me a time or two (I'm not the quick cat I once was). But a couple times I stayed in front of him and he tried to go up for a layup and when he missed, he had the audacity to say that I fouled him "with the body". I've played a lot of pickup ball in my day, but I've never heard someone call their own foul "on the body", i.e., I didn't hit him at all with my hands or arms, but because he jumped into me and then missed, somehow it was a foul on me.

#2) On numerous occasions when he had knocked the ball away from one of our players he claimed that it actually went off them out of bounds. I'm not saying whether it did or it didn't, but when you swat the ball away from someone, the odds are that it you hit it out of bounds, and in a pickup game if the other person doesn't come out and say, "No, its off me" then pretty much you just let them take it out up top. Remember that this is a co-ed game where a couple of the players have practically no discernable basketball skills.

#3) At one point, after a fast break that we had, he had the audacity, nay the gall, to claim that one of our players (who was just lucky to be standing up) had travelled while standing under the basket shooting a layup. I don't know that I've ever heard traveling called in a setting like this. I mean, I like to know that I'm trying hard and playing my best, and I like to win, but not to the extreme of calling a traveling violation, which I'm not sure even actually occured, on someone who isn't very good at basketball. I mean the guy I was guarding was camped out in the lane like it was the Alaskan frontier, but there's no way I'm going to call a 3-second violation in a church pick-up game.

Of the four games I played in, I managed to not be on his team ever, and that pleased me. I think I probably lost more than I won, but I'm pleased to say that we won the final game on a in traffic layup by yours truly, one of the few I actually made.

Its been quite some time since I really met someone who got under my skin like that, and I probably shouldn't worry about it too much, but in the end I was just glad that I'm not that kind of person.

What happened to cup sizes?

Brian Regan, one of my favorite comedians has a bit where he talks about cup sizes at restaurants and the silly displays hanging from the ventilation duct to let you know what the different cup sizes are. And yes, its a silly idea, but maybe not so much now. Lately I've been discovering that the old size standards have changed. When I was working in the fast food industry the sizes were thus:

Small: 16 oz.
Medium: 22 oz.
Large: 32 oz.
XL: 44 oz.

and I want to say that the children's size was maybe 12 oz., but I can't be sure about that. I think pretty much everyone was used to this standard. But in the last 6 months or so, all of a sudden, fast food places are pulling a switcheroo on us.

This morning at Carl's Jr., I ordered a combo meal and when asked what size drink I wanted I asked for a medium, only to be shocked moments later when a 32 oz cup was slapped down on my tray. Apparently medium is now what large used to be. At Wendy's if you order a combo meal they ask what size you want it. If you get a "medium" sized combo, you get a 32 oz drink. The "small" size comes with a 21 oz. Strangely though, if you order a "small" drink from the 0.99 value menu its a 16 oz. Its gotten to the point now where I occasionally ask the worker what size the cups are. Not that they ever know. This is especially critical in the drive-thru where too large a cup may result in the cup not fitting in your cupholder, and too small a cup with no refill recourse may be inadequate for my thirst-quenching needs, not to mention the fact that you don't even get to see what size the cup is until after you've already paid.

I'm not sure why the restaurants have done this, but I'm guessing they aren't doing it because their customer have demanded it. I've yet to hear anyone complain, "I wish that a medium soda were a lot bigger, but still called a medium." I haven't looked into the pricing, but I suspect that these new "mediums" are priced higher than the old ones.

Resistance is Futile. You Will be Assimilated

I know its not quite as obvious a comparison as the whole pirate pants photo montage, but there's just something about those Bluetooth wireless hands-free cell phone earpieces that some people are wearing these days that reminds me of the Borg from Star Trek.

I mean, honestly, how hard is it to hold a phone with your hand? I can see for someone who is driving, or someone who is working at a job where they need both their hands for typing while they talk on the phone. But almost always when I see someone wearing one of those things its just when they are walking around. At the mall, or on the street, or wherever. Because it sure is inconvenient to have to use your hand to hold the phone.

Do they think that it makes them look cool? Almost always its some business casual type person who probably got their work to buy it for them, and they are feeling like they are pretty much the bomb because of how cool their wireless hands-free adapter is. They probably are the kind of people who get a new phone every 6 weeks whenever the latest trendy phone comes out.

I thought it was easy to get confused by the person talking right behind you before. Now, you could even be looking at them and not know that they are using the phone. How long before people start getting cellphones implanted in their skull for more "convenience"?

But my lips hurt real bad!

I feel like lately I've let this blog kind of scrape by with my Friday features to help remind me to write a bit, and I've been trying to figure out what topic I could possibly find that would give me a forum to speak my mind. Well I finally found one: chapstick addiction. Now, I realize I am far from the first to address this issue (Lip Balm Anonymous seems to be the main hub for this topic.) But I feel like I need to add my voice to the others crying out "Put the chapstick down and slowly back away." Too many people I know (girls especially) are obsessed with their chapstick/lip balm/carmex/lip gloss/etc and are in constant need of re-application. If the anti-sun/skin cancer people could get people to reapply this obsessively they could stop cranking out weird commercials where the sun is chasing people. These lip products come in many shapes and sizes. Sticks, tubes, squeeze bottles, that thing that looks like a giant Q-tip. But they all share one common characteristic -- they all create dependencies in their users.

Now I'll admit up front that I am not a user of the products mentioned above and perhaps that would make me unqualified to give my opinion on the subject, but I don't smoke and am firmly in the anti-smoking camp, both for my own benefits as for those of the smoker. In this case, I think both of those topics apply. I personally am tired of seeing people bemoan, in Napoleon Dynamite-like fashion, the fact that they've forgotten their chapstick and does someone please have some they can borrow? People who won't share a soda can, have no problem sharing chapstick with another person. Not that I have some, but I get tired of the questions. And seriously, can you really need chapstick that bad? Some people even have those sleeve things that they hook on to their keys (don't get me started on the ginormous keychain conglomeration that some people carry) that carry their chapstick for them everywhere. I can conceive of people's lips getting chapped in the wintertime, but year-round, all-day, non-stop chappiness? I'm having a hard time buying that. Even people who are too obese to leave the house don't need to eat all day long. I never thought they would become our example of moderation.

I've heard (as yet unsubstantiated) rumors that some lip balm makers put shredded glass in their products that actually make your lips chapped, making users want to keep on using the product. Whether this is true or not, something's going on that makes people unable to function without their chapstick, and it needs to stop. Heaven forbid your lips not actually be greased up like the proverbial pig for a few moments. And if you really can't survive without the taste of cherry on your lips 24-7, you might just consider seeking professional help.

Are there any addicts out there who can offer me some kind of explanation for this obsession?

Got Lame?

Apparently the Got Milk? ad campaign is the single most awesome, creative advertising campaign in the history of advertising. Because if not, then why in the world would everyone else be just ripping it off for their own Got Something? campaigns. I mean c'mon. Got Milk? has been around for years, can't we come up with something else?

A little searching led me to this page, where the Got Milk? folks have rounded up 100 of their favorite Got Milk? ripoffs. I'm sure they love to see people keep on reusing their oh-so-creative slogan, since it makes the original look that much better by comparison.

Just last year the American Medical Informatics Association (AMIA) the academic society to which I belong unveiled their new Electronic Health Record promotion campaign, with a super creative title: Got EHR?

Its getting pretty ridiculous people. I expect better.

Go Big or Go Home -- You're Kidding Me, Right?

"Going Big"

"Go Big or Go Home" Its a phrase thats seems to have inundated my daily life. It conjures images of snowboarders soaring through the air while attempting ridiculous acrobatic moves and people doing double-backflips on bmx bicycles. Strangely, though, it seems to have expanded in meaning of late, and now can be used for anything you want. I googled it and found that in addition to so-called extreme sports athletes, the motto also could be applied to investing, playing poker, small businesses, protests, and custom rims, among other things. I've even heard people say, "My life motto is to go big or go home." Mountain Dew would have us belive that by drinking their soda, we must be "Going Big". Recently my ward had a 5K run-walk with T-shirts that said "Go Big or Go Home."

I'm not sure what it is about the phrase "Go Big or Go Home" that people enjoy so much. I can see its application in the sense of a philosophy to risk everything in order to be the VERY best, rather than just good, or sufficient. But I don't see why this appeals to people so much. I mean, I don't know if any of you have seen "Deal or No Deal" on NBC (its kind of hard to miss these days), but the people who hold out hoping they have the million dollar suitcase almost always end up with chump change, when they could have gotten a better deal by selling. In life I think the same generally applies. Its one thing to want to do well, quite another to risk everything to be the best regardless of the odds.


"Going Big?"

But what really gets under my skin is the regular old people like you and me who claim to always "Go Big", when really the only thing they "Go Big" on is their Biggie-sized combo at Wendys. In fact, I'm suprised that Wendy's hasn't adopted this as their latest marketing slogan. Its used so much by people who don't personify its meaning that now its lost its meaning. When I saw it on our 5K shirts I asked, "Will there be some kind of bungie jumping that I have do in the middle?". "No, its just the slogan we picked." I mean, c'mon, its a 5K. Thats like 3.1 miles. I walked it in 42 minutes. Did I "Go Big"? Not that I was aware of, but then again, no one tried to make me "Go Home" either.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that unless your life is frequently in danger or at least your limbs, try to refrain from proclaiming that you "Go Big". And if you can't refrain, then please..."Go Home."

Why I Hate (or at least strongly dislike) Catch Phrase

Last night after our weekly Sunday night ward gathering of many names (ward prayer, ward stare, pray-n-stay, scope-n-hope, have-a-cookie-and-take-a-lookie) several of us stayed to play some games. We started with the classic Nerts and then moved on to Scattergories, before someone moved on to the world's dumbest game: Catch Phrase.



While I realize I may have offended many people, among them whoever makes Catch Phrase (Milton Bradley? Hasbro? I really don't know who makes games any more), but it is not without reason. I can't stand that game. And there is a sense of dread that comes over me whenever someone brings it up, because for some reason people love this game, and I can't for the life of me figure out why.

For those of you who have never played Catch Phrase, its basically a guess the word game where when its your turn you hold the beeping timer that also shows you the word you need to have your team guess before you can pass it on to a member of the other team. When the timer runs out, whichever team is holding the timer loses that round and the other team gets a point. Sounds simple enough, right? That the problem its too simple. Generally the clues are some simple phrase like "apple pie" or "center field" or something along those lines. And obviously some people will take longer than others to come up with a good clue or two to help their team guess it. But basically all the game is, is hot potato with a little bit of guessing to make you feel like there is some skill involved. But there isn't. When you look past the word guessing fluff, its really just a timer that you pass around and when it buzzes whoever is holding it loses. I like to emphasize the silliness of this by saying after each round to whoever is holding the timer, "You are terrible at this game!" Because really it has nothing to do with their ability to play the game.

I'm sure that some will argue that that's why the game is fun, anyone can win and its a easy game that everyone can enjoy. But if that's the case, then why not just play pattycakes. The amount of skill involved is pretty much the same. Just to give you an idea of the irrational love bestowed on this game, here are some excerpts from an Amazon.com user review of the game:

"Catch Phrase" is one of the many cool things I have discovered since being in college

And I thought my college life was a little boring.

For example, if the word was "pumpkin," you could say something along the lines of, "Okay, guys, Peter-Peter-blank-eater!" If someone has been keeping up on their nursery rhymes, he or she will know that the word in place of "blank" is "pumpkin." Make sense?

Sounds tough, right?

Educational Value: This is a thinking game. That's the only way I know how to put it. You have to think about what it is your teammate is trying to say without he or she actually coming out and saying it. And they're not all as easy as "pumpkin." There are some real stumpers in this game, and that only adds to the fun (or frustration depending upon what side you're on).

For someone in college to call this game educational, calls into question their standardized test scores. Even if they aren't all as easy as pumpkin.

In short, "Catch Phrase" is a very cool game. It's great to play with a lot of people, and it never gets boring. I've played this numerous times, and I always have interesting stories to tell the next day.

I'm sure he could tell us some really doozies.

I'm sure part of my bitterness toward the game also stems from a New Years Eve a few years back when I got stuck in a room full of people who were all so tired that once they started playing Catch Phrase they were unable to come up with any other idea, and we played Catch Phrase for at least 2 hours straight. The last hour was a variation that someone came up with where there was no timer, no teams, and you had to think of just one word as your clue. Granted this required a bit more creativity, but just playing Catch Phrase for 2 solid hours was enough to move me from a level of indifference to a true distaste for the game.

Personally I feel that Taboo, with its buzzer that must be used as an electric razor by someone each time it is played, is a much better word guessing game that allows players to be creative and benefit from their skills. But maybe that's just me.

Arrrrr You Kidding Me? Sullying the Name of the Gaucho in an Attempt to Disguise Pirate Pants

I realize its been a long time since I blogged anything, but first I was on vacation and second I couldn't really find a topic that spoke to me. Anyway, this past weekend, I was downtown at the Gateway waiting for a table at one of the fine dining establishments to be found there, and since there were girls with us, we had to go shopping.

We stopped in to Express which happens to sell fancy clothes, sometimes even to men I gather from the fact that the big sale sign in the window said "Women's Clothing only". Strangely the store only seemed to sell women's clothing so I didn't quite see the need for that disclaimer. But I digress. While we were there waiting for the girls to try on some of the latest and greatest fashions, my roommate and I began a conversation about one of these latest trends in the world of high women's fashion. No, I don't mean the re-emergence of sequins, we'll save that tirade for another day. I speak of the "the gaucho pant" aka "the pirate pant" aka "the garbacho pant" as my roommate likes to call them.

On the off chance that you have not seem this trend in action, here are some images I culled from the internet (my apologies for the fact that as far as can be seen here the pants are to be worn without any shirt. My personal experience is that I've always seen them worn with a shirt) :







Ok, so that last one wasn't actually filed under "gaucho pants" but I think I make my point, which is: why would a girl want to a) wear pirate pants, and b) wear them with high heels instead of the traditional high, large-cuffed, buckle-sporting boots? They seem to be some kind of dressy capri pant or as I like to think: coulats' (sp?) ugly cousin.

At first I found the trend mildly amusing, just another example of how some women will wear anything if they think its "in-style". That was until I found out that these pirate pants were masquerading under the name "gaucho pants". As a former resident (or I guess legally my status was extended tourist) of Argentina, I personally have met gauchos and would like to let the fashion world know that gauchos in fact wear no such pants. Gauchos are the Argentine equivalent of cowboys, ranchers, cattlemen, etc. They wear traditional pants called "bombachas" which apparently (or so my Google search would indicate) is also a name for women's undergarments. These true gaucho pants are just baggy trousers, usually having multiple pleats to create the bagginess, and often having a button closure at the bottom of each leg. I didn't discuss fashion much with these gauchos, so I can't definitively give the purpose of the buttoned leg, but my guess is that it allows for the pants to be worn easily over boots.

In any case, I found some pictures of gauchos online and was able to even find website offering to sell me bombachas. If they were smart they'd label them as "gaucho pants" and try to cash in on the recent trend. Without further ado, I give you real Gaucho pants, as worn by actual gauchos:








I guess this last photo might give a hint as to why they are called gaucho pants, but I think its fairly clear that this gaucho has pants that are actually quite long and are not actually cut off right at the top of his boots.

Just wanted to stand up for the gauchos, as I doubt very few of them have internet connections and even fewer of them have blogs with a super high readership (unlike mine of course).

My milk keeps going bad before its time

Is it me, or does milk go bad faster these days? As I always have a hard time finishing the half-gallon of milk that I buy in any kind of rapid fashion, I tend to base my milk purchases on which half-gallon has the latest "best by" date.

About a year or so ago, milk prices really took a jump. And then the only time you could get cheap milk was when it was nearly expired and it was on sale. For example, one day they had gallons of milk on sale for like a dollar or so, but then when you checked the date, it was like two days away. So basically if you could drink it that day, it was worth it, otherwise no. Lots of milk had a short time to expiration, and it was hard for me to even convince myself it was worth buying it.

Then over time, the expiration dates seemed to get further away. The funny thing is that the last couple half-gallons that I've purchased, have gone bad well before the expiration date. Is the date just for milk that hasn't been opened yet? I threw out just under a quarter gallon the other day because it clearly was going bad, even though it was still a week to go til the expiration date.

Anyway, I sure hope that its just been a fluke and that the integrity of the "best by" date has not been damaged.

PSA (Public Speed Announcement)

I think that 1300 East in Salt Lake City is one of the worst road to drive on, and yet somehow I have convinced myself that its the fastest way for me to get to school and church and back.

My biggest problem with it (now that they repaved the section between 2100 S and 500 S) is that on the section between my house (approx. 4500 S) and 3300 S, people don't even drive the speed limit. Its a 40 mph section, but everyone drives 30 or 35 at best. Unlinke other places I drive, I actually get excited when they put out those trailers that show the speed limit and then have a display that says "Your speed" with a radar gun, because I always hope that people will see it and go, "Oh, wow, its 40 here. I can speed up." Its laughable because everytime I drive past one anywhere, I have to slow down, but on 1300 E, I'm always stuck going 5 or 10 below. Today, there was one position right near to where I live, and as always I was doing 34 in a 40 as I drove by with no slowing down to please the radar gun. So, hopefully, we'll see some increased speeds as a result.

Its Racism...Hooray Racism!

One of my favorite shows on ESPN is PTI where Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon debate the lastest happening in sports. One of the sponsors of late is Red Stripe Beer (Motto: Its Beer...Hooray Beer!) and their commercials are quite humerous and entertaining. One of the talks about how white people can't dance and then the spokesperson turns on a radio and gives the white guy a Red Stripe and then they both dance. The commercial then says "Red Stripe and reggae, helping our white friends dance for over 70 years!"

I was just thinking, what if it was a PSA for Affirmative Action that ended by saying "Affirmative Action, helping our non-white friends get jobs they don't deserve for over 40 years!" We'd have people up in arms about racism.

I guess it must just be because white people are so much better (or is it just because we're better off) that we have to put up with people taking shots at us, while anything going the other way is totally offensive?

Whats the Deal with Aisle Sitters?

You know who they are. They're the first ones there, wherever there is. School, Church, some kind of sporting event. They get there before everyone else and then decide to sit right next to the aisle, requiring everyone else to have to squeeze to get through to the rest of the seats. Then they have the nerve to act put out that someone is rude enough to squeeze past them, even though we really have no other options.

In some situations this can be a huge hassle. In a whole bunch of my Computer Science courses we had aisle sitters, so finally I decided that any time I had to squeeze past one of these people, I was going to not-so-accidentally bump them a good one. Its not really in my nature and I don't recall how long I kept it up, but certainly I did it on several ocassions and always it felt good.

Another question that was raised in one of the "Letters from a Nut" books related to this topic is "What is the proper way to slide past these people?" Do you put your butt or your crotch in their face? There's really no nice way to put it.

So for future reference, if you are the first one there, do everyone a favor and slide in to the middle of the row, or if not, stand up and set out of the aisle when people are entering.