Its Racism...Hooray Racism!

One of my favorite shows on ESPN is PTI where Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon debate the lastest happening in sports. One of the sponsors of late is Red Stripe Beer (Motto: Its Beer...Hooray Beer!) and their commercials are quite humerous and entertaining. One of the talks about how white people can't dance and then the spokesperson turns on a radio and gives the white guy a Red Stripe and then they both dance. The commercial then says "Red Stripe and reggae, helping our white friends dance for over 70 years!"

I was just thinking, what if it was a PSA for Affirmative Action that ended by saying "Affirmative Action, helping our non-white friends get jobs they don't deserve for over 40 years!" We'd have people up in arms about racism.

I guess it must just be because white people are so much better (or is it just because we're better off) that we have to put up with people taking shots at us, while anything going the other way is totally offensive?

Directional activities

So tonight at Institute the announced there's some Bar-B-Hootenany activity coming up. Aside from the fact that I could barely look myself in the face if I were to go to some with that name, it got me thinking. Its supposed to be some kind of western-style activity, right? Well, why have we all heard of a western-style activity, but we really would be clueless if there was an eastern-style activity, or northern-style. Or dare I say southern-style? Whats up with that?

Random Thoughts on the English Language #3

I'm sure we all know someone who is 'inept'. But how many 'ept' people do you know?

The Persistence Theory

As I was re-reading some of my recent posts, I realized that I had alluded to a Persistence Theory upon which I was going to expound, but which as of yet has gone un-expounded upon.

If I were to name this Theory after someone it would probably be Rhett Butler. No, not THE Rhett Butler. A guy in my high school's name happened to be Rhett Butler. Perhaps his famous name endowed him with some kind of overactive ego, but for the most part the guy was an overbearing jerk whose lack of self-esteem translated into treating everyone else like crap.

Anyway, there was a girl, Kelly, whom Rhett was interested in. And being the ultra-confident fellow that he was, he proceeded to date her, despite the fact that she was obvious too classy for him, and that he belonged with her the way mustard belongs with peanut butter. But here's the thing, they're married now. Not, to my knowledge, because he changed and became a great guy. No, just because he stuck it out.

I think most of us guys know a guy like this, who ends up with a girl out of his league because he is willing to be a jerk and not give up and just keep asking a girl out even when she's made it abundantly clear that she is not interested. Where most of us would not have the nerve to continue on after she's been clearly disinterested, some of us are willing to carry on as though things are fine. Eventually something changes in the girl and they end up together. And so the persistence theory is born.

The theory is that pretty much a guy can get any girl if given enough time to continue dating her or at least attempting to date her. If she isn't assertive enough to tell him to leave her alone in no uncertain terms, eventually she comes around to see things his way. If you, as a guy, are willing to persevere through the crappy time when she is obviously not interested and force her to be mean and up front with you, chances are that things will work out in the end.

Why is this? Is it because by sticking around for so long, you scare away any other potential suitors? Is it because, in a moment of depression and loneliness a girl can be convinced that you are the best she'll ever get? I don't know. Maybe the ladies can help me out with this one.

Sadly, I have not found that I am able to persevere enough to put this theory into practice on the grand scale, although with the one girl I seriously dated, there was a period at the beginning where I really had no idea what she was thinking about me and was just kind of winging it on my own without any kind of signals on her part. In general, though, the last place I want to be is some place where I'm not wanted. I hate to think that I'm the guy that every wishes would just go away and leave them alone. Because there are people like that and they never seem to know what everyone thinks about them. I hope I'm not that guy.

Addendum - 1/3/06: My older brother who happens to be married to Kelly's cousin and graduated with both of them informs me that I should point out that they are happily married and have 3 children and that Rhett does have some redeeming qualities. I assume this must be true and that really as a high school sophmore I didn't have a lot of interaction with so I'm limited by what things I did see.

He (my brother) also thinks that girls usually value the commitment shown by the persistor as that is something they tend to look for in men.

Whats the Deal with Aisle Sitters?

You know who they are. They're the first ones there, wherever there is. School, Church, some kind of sporting event. They get there before everyone else and then decide to sit right next to the aisle, requiring everyone else to have to squeeze to get through to the rest of the seats. Then they have the nerve to act put out that someone is rude enough to squeeze past them, even though we really have no other options.

In some situations this can be a huge hassle. In a whole bunch of my Computer Science courses we had aisle sitters, so finally I decided that any time I had to squeeze past one of these people, I was going to not-so-accidentally bump them a good one. Its not really in my nature and I don't recall how long I kept it up, but certainly I did it on several ocassions and always it felt good.

Another question that was raised in one of the "Letters from a Nut" books related to this topic is "What is the proper way to slide past these people?" Do you put your butt or your crotch in their face? There's really no nice way to put it.

So for future reference, if you are the first one there, do everyone a favor and slide in to the middle of the row, or if not, stand up and set out of the aisle when people are entering.

Fear of ... failed success?

As I contemplate the reasons that I don't date more than I do now, I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm not so much scared of rejection, although it does kind of suck when you are interested in someone and they give you the old shaft-eroo. No, I think its more that I am afraid of having to break up with someone. That they will like me but I won't like them back.

This fear probably stems from the series of painful breakups that I experienced with the one girl that I dated for month than a couple months.

So basically, I'm more afraid that people will will like me and I not like them back than the other way round.

Is that messed up or what?

Stubbornness

Have you ever been told to do something or not to do something by someone that has your best interest in mind and yet all it makes you want to do is the opposite. I'm a pretty stubborn person in that sense, and when someone gives me some unsolicited advice my natural reaction is to go 180 degrees the opposite direction. I've learned though that if I wait a few days before doing anything that I can let the advice sink in and then I'm more willing to give it a shot. I think this is because after mulling it over for a few days I feel more like its my decision and that I'm not just doing what someone told me to do.

Some advice for the ladies

A day or two ago, I had a nice chat with a good friend of mine who has become active in the church recently (over the course of the last two or three years) and he said to me, "Ever since I started dating Mormon girls, things have just been way harder. Sometimes I think they are interested in me, so I ask them out and then make up excuses or dog me out or whatever."

So on to the advice for the ladies: We're grown up. We can take it if you aren't interested. Just let us know. Once we've made it obvious that we are interested, just let us know whether you are or not, so that we can both get on with our lives if the interest isn't mutual. Let's not waste 4 months on "Does she like me?" Don't suggest that maybe you'll change your mind, or maybe you were just busy that one time. Be clear. And by obvious and clear, we mean OB-VI-OUS and C-L-E-A-R. Like obvious enough that a guy could actually realize. Not in some obscure, "I didn't laugh at his jokes as loud as before" kind of way.

And don't give psycho guys ideas by finally giving into some guy who's been hounding you for years. The persistance theory has proven effective too many times because girls just think that no one else is interested. And if you don't know about the persistance theory, I'll spell it out tomorrow.

How Long is 5 Years? Part III: The Roomies

Just when you think that 5 years has flown by, try to think back through all the different roommates you've had and how long its been since you've even heard anything about some of them much less seen them or heard from them.

When I first got home from the mission, I moved in with three total strangers who also happened to all be at least 6 years old than I was. In fact, I am still not the age that any of them were at the time, despite it now being 5 years later. Thats actually a relief to realize. First, there was Burke, who happened to have his dirtbike parked in the living room and had a computer desk that effectively filled another third of the room. He also wouldn't tell any of the rest of us where our reserved parking spot was, and was also like the dad of the place. He paid all the bills and then we just paid him back. Needless to say he moved out a month later and I haven't seen the guy more than once since then. Don't even remember his last name. I want to say Shields, but maybe that just because Burke Shields has a familiar ring to it.

Along with Burke there was Jason S., resident yellow personality who got me my first date by putting my arm around this weird girl at church who then proceeded to ask me out, dutch no less, to the UofU Homecoming dance. When I think I've been on a bad date I just remember that one. Jason was a lot of fun, though, and lived with us for the next year. He will forever be 18 years old at heart. He's living back in Salt Lake now after moving out to West Valley and then up to Logan to get his Masters.

The other of my inaugural set of post-mission roomies was Dustin, whose bizareness may never be topped in someone with such a good heart. We all have our talents and one of his was making members of the opposite sex uncomfortable. Another was buying random stuff for exorbitant prices (Rainbow Vacuum anyone?). Yet another was his penchant for small house pets (snakes, iguana, chameleon, sugar glider, parrot) that never quite seem to reach "part of the family status". And he will forever be remember for what me and Troy call "Dustin's thing" which was a small plastic aquarium with some European coins in the bottom, and some pillars coming up out of the coins. One pillar had a small pewter(?) wizard on it and the other had a dragon. On the outside of the aquarium there was a switch that you could flip that would make electric current jump from the wizard's wand to the dragon. Not one girl could make it into our apartment for the first time without getting a demonstration of "Dustin's thing". And yet, of the 4 of us living there, he is the only one now married.

When Burke moved out, Troy moved in, and we've been roommates ever since then, although that time will be coming to an end at the end of August. My relationship with Troy has always reminded me a lot of my relationship with my older brother. We don't talk about things like who were dating or what we are thinking about life and philosophical things. We just hang out and have some of the same interests. We get along really well with only a few minor not-so-happy times, one involving him throwing my pants on the floor.

After living with Jason, Dustin, and Troy for a year, Jason left and his spot became the revolving door spot in our apartment for the next 18 months or so of our time at Foothill Place. Our first replacement was Kent, a hilarious guy who always made the wrong first impression since he was about 6' 3", had shoulder length hair, and an ability to grow facial hair that would make Bigfoot feel girlish. One of his best qualities was that when he was avoiding homework, he would clean house. My favorite memory of Kent, though, would have to be his monologue on all of his failed relationships that he shared with my girlfriend and me. The monologue ended perfectly with his yelling "I need a wife" from the kitchen because he had just managed to set the plastic handle of a coffee mug on fire, by putting the mug in the microwave. Good old Moyle. Last I'd heard from him he'd cut his hair and got called as Elder's Quorum President. Maybe I need to grow my hair out.

After Moyle moved out, he was replaced by a guy named Lee who delivered pizzas for The Pie and whom I could tell if he was asleep in our room simply by opening the door enough for me to get a whiff of his pizza-y odor. Most memorable for just sitting silently watching TV for most of the first week we knew him, and because our neighbors used to crank call asking for him and I would pretend to do the Lee voice.

After Lee moved down to Utah County, because "there are more hot girls there", he was replaced by Zack, a man whose passion for boating was tempered only by the fact that the boat he built himself kept breaking down. He has since moved on to Prosthetics and Orthotics school and is now making bank, has bought his own boat (RIP 10 Cow Pull), and gotten hitched.

Zack was just in town for the summer and he was replaced by Jason G., a drummer who failed to mention that key fact when he came to see the place and afterwards set them up against our wishes and from time to time would have people over to jam in our living room. Not a great idea in an apartment building, unless you happen to have your own TV show and rehearsal space on the roof (Anyone remember "The Heights"?). The lowlight of Jason's time was when I told him I was interested in a girl and he proceeded to ask her out. The highlight was the whole "Lando? Lando? Lando!!!!!!!!!" moment inspired by the Kenny Rogers Roasters episode of Seinfeld.

Jason was the first of the replacements to stick around for a while, as Dustin proceeded to move out to his own place and get some bigger parrots. Once Dustin was gone, he was replaced by Christian, or C-Lo as he has come to be know since then. Cristian was kind of unmotivated and never had a job in the three months or so that he was our roommate. He played a lot of Playstation and hung with Jason mostly. His dad drove a truck for Wonder Hostess and so whenever he would visit we'd get hooked up with mad Twinkies, etc.

At this point, our lease was ending and Troy and I decided to move out to a house with some of our friends from the ward. It was sad leaving Foothill, but pretty much everyone else had already left as well, so it wasn't that sad, or rather things would have been sad even if we'd stayed.

We moved to the house with a total of 7 guys, one of whom (Marlon) was engaged already, so we knew we'd shortly be down to 6. There was Troy and I, Marlon, Ben, Ray, Jeremy, and Tyler. I have to say it was a lot of fun and I think that we'll all be pretty good friends.

I would have to say that I probably will remember my times with Ben and Ray most from living in the house. Ben, because we had a lot of time in the house together when everyone else was working while we were between jobs. Lots of breakfasts at the Coachmans. Especially because there was a time when I thought Ben was a major league punk. And he still has his moments :), but I now consider him a good friend, someone I could talk to, and someone who is sincerely interested in what is up with me. He's gone active duty in the Army now and will be shipping out to Iraq before too long, currently scheduled to go in November. I have nothing but the utmost of respect for him and the rest of our Armed Forces and their willingness to put their lives on the line for our country in a way that no other occupation requires. I don't care what you say about the reasons they are out there, the fact remains they are out there and most of us aren't and aren't willing to be.

As for Ray, we just had a lot of fun times. He was the youngest and certainly the most fun to hang out with. We made a snowman once. Good times all around.

After a year there, we had to move from the house. Ben had already left for the army and Ray was engaged to be married in a month or so. So it was Troy, Jeremy, Tyler, Ray and I moving to Turnberry where I've lived since then. Ray got married and Tyler subsequently got engaged and married at which point Chris moved in with us.

I've had a great year living with Chris and really enjoy talking with him about all kinds of topics. He's taught me how to get the most of the internet and has actually influenced me so much that I can actually watch golf w/o throwing up in my mouth. Thanks, Chris.

As for the current state of roommate affairs, we'll all be leaving this apartment at the end of August. Troy and Jeremy are moving in with Ryan in Sandy, Chris is leaving for University of Chicago Law School and I will be moving to a town house apartment here in Turnberry with Rob and his roommate, Mac (MacKay). For the first time, I'll be the shortest one. That should prove interesting methinks. And for the not-first time I'll be the youngest one.

How Long is 5 Years? Part II: On the Road Again

Trips and Vacations

You might feel like you don't travel much, as I do from time to time, but I've found that as I look back I've actually had some great fun travelling over the last 5 years.

The first real trip I took after returning home was my Spring Break vacation in the Spring of 2001. Interestingly enough, its the only real Spring Break vacation I've ever taken, and certainly it stands out as being a really fun trip.

I spent a week with some of my new friends and a couple people I didn't even know before that. We drove to Hurricane late the first night, our arrival at Marlon's house delayed slightly by getting pulled over for speeding only a mile or two from our destination. A crazy ordeal which took place at approximately 2 am, and included such never-before-seen insanity as a cop pulling over two cars at once, the car I was in running out of gas while we were idling at the side of the road, the driver of our car finding out that her license was suspended or something like that, and finally us getting our pictures taken with the police, for fun of course. The best part was the policeman taking the picture giving suggestions for how to get the best lighting on the shot.

Early the next day we set out of Los Angeles and had only made it St. George before getting another speeding ticket. I was riding shotgun in the same car, but with a different driver. We got a nice long lecture from officer-poopy-pants about how dangerous it was for us to be going 80 or 90 or whatever it was on the freeway.

Finally we made it Val's parents house in Cali and we had a great time. We went to Santa Monica, and the walk of fame. To the Universal City Walk outside of Universal Studios. We drove down to Newport Beach for one night and I ate at the Cheesecake Factory for the first of what is now three momentous times. I rode the ferris wheel at Balboa Island with Matt Maher and we blew our kazoos like crazy as we did it. We drove up to Six Flags Magic Mountain and finally drove to Vegas for the last night and then home. All in all I spent around $100. Talk about a bargain.

That summer we had a family vacation to Lava Hot Springs which will go down in Tripp family infamy as the worst vacation ever, at least to date. Note to anyone thinking about it: Lava is great for one day, terrible for 3. The only places to eat are local greasy spoon type places. The only things to do involve you being in your swimming suit, which is fine, but not for three days. Just wanted to give a heads-up to anyone considering this idea.

In August of that year, I helped George and Kimi move out to Omaha which wasn't so much a vacation as a long drive with some remodeling at the end. But it was my first time that I could recall visiting the midwest, and I saw a lot of corn along the way.

Then on Labor Day weekend, I went down to Hurricane again to Marlon's parents' house. We went repelling, crawled around in caves, all of which was a bit tense for me. We hiked the Narrows in Zion, went to a ghost town. I think the trip was best summed up by my asking "when do we start vacationing?".

After that things settled down, as I started having jobs that required me to work during summer and spring vacations. The next trip I took was a family vacation to Aspen Grove, which was okay, but really made me feel too old to fit in. Fast forward to the summer of 2003 when we went to Oregon for the second time as a family which was lots of fun. We enjoyed beach golf and seeing lighthouses and tide pools.

I don't recall going anywhere after than until the next year when I started traveling heavily again. In June, I traveled to Nauvoo for family vacation and also to Indianapolis for my first NLM Training meeting. In September I went to San Francisco for the first time to attend MedInfo. Over Christmas Break, I went to Tempe, AZ to watch the undefeated Utah Utes finish up their season in dramatic fashion by spanking the Pitt Panthers in the Fiesta Bowl. Over President's Day weekend, I flew to Omaha to visit George and Kimi and we saw some church history sites, like Independence, Liberty Jail, and Winter Quarters. And just recently I returned from a trip to DC for the NLM Training meeting.

I have to be honest when I say that I've had more fun on trips with my friends than with my family, but I guess thats just the way it goes. Looking ahead, I'd like to visit California again sometime soon, and maybe save up and find someone who wants to go visit Argentina, but that might be too ambitious. Who knows?

How Long is 5 Years? Part I: The Ladies

I was just realizing the other day that this Friday (July 29th) will mark the 5th anniversary of my return from the mission field. Crazy, huh? When time starts to feel like its moving by pretty quickly sometimes its nice to look back at what all can happen in 5 years and then it does feel like its flying by quite so fast as you see all thats happened in 5 years.

With that in mind, I wanted to put together a few categorical thoughts and maybe some statistics to see what all I've been up to in the last 5 years.

Dating

Lets start here since it seems as though this is all that anyone really cares about anyway. Lets start at the very beginning with Tawni. Who is she?, you ask. Well even I know very little about her. She was in one of my two Institute classes that I took my first semester back -- Preparing for Celestial Marriage. At the time I thought it might be something I'd need in the short term, but hey it never hurts to be prepared way in advance, right?

Anyway, she's very good-looking and friendly, and as the gung-ho RM that I was, I went for it. I called to ask her out. I assume that I got her number off the UofU Student Directory, b/c I'm sure I didn't ask her for it. She happened to be busy, but invited me to come and eat dinner at the restaurant where she was working as a server -- Christopher's in Bountiful. It was pretty convenient for me since I had a class at the Bountiful extension at the time, but little did I know that Christopher's is a pretty pricey place to eat. I sat down and started looking at the menu and pretty much everything was $20 or so, if I remember correctly. In the end I got some kind of chicken salad that was fairly reasonably priced, but I was glad that I wasn't taking some girl there on a date. She was my server, but was pretty busy, so our interaction was limited.

As a follow-up, I think I called her not too long after that and asked her out on a date, which she agreed to. I called her the night before just to verify that we were still on and got this response, "Oh, was that tomorrow? I've already got plans." A luau of some sort, I believe. Anyway, that was the first time I got the insensitve shoot down, but sadly, not the last.

I followed up the Tawni experience with the Mimi experience. She was a girl who I'd met at the Institute building and made friends with. We actually went on a couple dates, I got up the courage to actually kiss a girl for only the second time in my life, and the first since I'd been home, and even exchanged Christmas gifts, although I think she got me something in response to my getting her something. We went out on New Year's which happened to be a Sunday that year, and was one of two New Year's in my life on which I've actually had someone to kiss. Shortly after New Year's things got weird and she was "busy" a lot on the weekend. So we drifted apart, almost for good, although I did get a weird Valentines day call from her that went as follows:

Me: Hello?
Her: Hi, this is Mimi, I just wanted to call and say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Me: Oh, thanks. Happy Valentine's Day to you.
Her: Hey, my sister needs to use the phone, so I guess I'll talk to you later.

How bizarre is that?

Anyway, needless to say, I ended up going out with her two more times, first in March when I needed a date to the G-ville Old Folks Sociable, and later in April or May to see Camelot at the U, after I'd called her to wish her happy birthday. Later she left on a mission without mentioning to me that she was even thinking about going. I've seen her since a few times and actually had one decent conversation with her.

That was the end of that experience, and made me think that perhaps DTR's aren't entirely bad, if it means that you at least have some clue of what is going on in someone else's head.

The Mimi era was followed shortly by the Sandy era, a girl from my ward who I asked out and had a good time with, who I invited to the Manti pageant, an experience which prompted my friends to say that they thought she was pretty interested in me, only to find out about a month later that she was engaged to some other guy.

After a brief hiatus from dating, I began dating Angie, an experience whose full details would take more space than perhaps exists on the internet, but sufficeth to say that we had a lot of good times and a lot of bad times, and a lot of time all around, at least from my perspective. After numerous break-ups instigated by myself, and numerous times of her taking me back, finally we had a mutual breakup which seemed to stick. All told, the time between our first and last dates spans approximately 18 months, and includes approximately 5 breakups, and one hiatus of probably 10 months or so.

Aside from these major landmarks, there have been a couple other girls that I have kissed, and maybe one or two that I have been on second dates with. Let it be known, however that no girl who has gone out with me more than twice has ever gotten married, at least not yet. So lets assume that means that once you've dated Jake, there's just no getting over him.

Currently, there are a few girls that I'm thinking about asking out, but have not.

I think this is a good place to take a break, but check back later today or tomorrow for more of my multi-part retrospective on the post-mission era of Jake.

Mini Miracle #1

A week ago today, I got up at the totally un-me-like hour of 4:45 am. This was so that my mom could come and get me to take me to the airport for my trip to Washington, D.C. She was coming at 5:15 so that I could get to the airport in plenty of time for my 7:00 flight out. Around 5:20 I started to wonder why she wasn't here yet, although her track records a bit suspect, so I wasn't too worrried. I tried calling her cellphone, but no answer. As 5:25 passed, and then 5:30, and then 5:35, I started to wonder a) if she was okay, b) if she was coming at all, and c) at what point I would need to drive myself to the airport.

Then, about 5:40 I thought I heard a car outside, so I walk out and down the steps, but there was no car there. I stood there for a few minutes and then my mom drove around the corner. I assumed she was just running late, but in fact, she had been parked at the building next to mine since 5:10 or so, since my car was parked there (parking in front of my building tends to be at a premium) and the light was on in the apartment that would have been mine if it were my building. She had knocked on the door, and even was bold enough to ring the doorbell. But no one came to the door. She had forgotten her cellphone at home and also forgotten to bring my address with her. She finally decided to try and find a pay phone to call me, and that where she was headed when she happened to drive by my apartment where I had been standing outside for less than 2 minutes.

She seemed a little distraught, and had obviously been worried that she had failed miserably as a mother. But I made it to airport at a reasonable hour and got to my flight with enough time to spare for me to enjoy some BK courtesy of my travel budget. Thanks mom.

Dell-icious?

As you may have noticed, its been a few days since my last post. My brand new Dell Dimension 4700 threw a rod and blew a hard drive about a week into its tenure as my desktop. Luckily I managed to not delete all my files off my old desktop in the interim, although a large portion of them are in a file entitled, "Ready to be Deleted". Only divine intervention prevented me from finishing the job.

I just got my PC back up and running yesterday evening, and I've decided to take a few precautions, like not let it keep running since it tends to get really hot when its been on for more than a few hours at a time; and perhaps attempt to back up my important files to disk (the new machine has a DVD burner). Also I'm waiting until at least tomorrow to think about transferring the docs over to this machine again. Just because I'm tired of having to do it more than once. We'll see. Hopefully I'll have good news to report.

Dating Thoughts #3: Little Help?

In today’s society we see that hanging out seems to have replaced “casual” dating. Whether this is true or not, or right or not is not the issue. The perception is the issue. Because of this perception, asking someone out on a date, excepting some circumstances to be discussed below, is perceived to mean that you have already decided that you “like” them. This means that after only one date, people are already asking you to decide if you are going to ask them out again, or not. It’s like you have to break up with them if you decide you don’t want to go on a second date. This puts a lot of pressure on you, and makes you not want to date “for fun” because if you just want to date for fun you have to be prepared to deal with relationship issues before there ever is even a real relationship.

So… the solution seems to be to find opportunities to ask someone out where it can be assumed that don’t already want to date them seriously just because you have asked them out, i.e. date-required activities, like a formal dance or a group date activity. Then you can ask someone out and explain what it is for, and then they can still feel like you are interested, but not that you are trying to start a relationship with them. This gives you the opportunity to go on a date, without the pressure of having to break up after the first date. You can date in the sense that our parents think of, and it also gives you a good lead-in to a second date, that is really the first “I am interested in you” date, but without the usual first-date-awkwardness.

Thus, if our church leaders would like us to date more, and I’m sure that they do, I feel like they ought to provide opportunities for us, as guys, to ask girls out. They certainly don't have any problem telling us that we need to date more. I know that there will always be people who make a stink because there will be some, or maybe lots, of girls that don’t get asked out who will feel bad. Well I’m guessing that more girls will get asked out that weekend than would normally, so overall it’s a step in the right direction. Currently my singles stake provides no date-required activities. They only have dances (stomps, mind you) three times a year. You aren’t going to meet people outside of your ward at an activity where you watch Testaments, or sit and watch a talent show in the dark. You are going to sit by people you know and talk to people you know and not meet anyone new. I feel like I’ve been to enough stake activities to know that there is very little mingling going on. In general, normal people don't just go up to random people at these activities.

Dating Thoughts #2: The Dreaded Hang-out

As mentioned previously, people are usually not themselves on a first date, especially a blind date; or at least you don't really get to know the real person usually. Thus hanging out provides a setting in the which you can get to know people without the pressure of “Do you want to marry this person?” looming over your head as it does in a dating relationship in today’s society. Some people feel like you can’t really get to know someone by just hanging out. I submit that that is up to each individual. If you just sit and watch TV, then sure you will never get to know someone, but I think you can learn as much talking with someone in a group setting, as in a one-on-one dating situation, if that is your goal. Who hasn't been on a date that was much pretty much a long sequence of awkward silences?

Obviously dating should be the ultimate goal of group activities. Use them as an opportunity to find out if you'd like to date someone and to meet new people i.e. friend of a friend. There are some things that you only get on a date. Especially with some girls who always seem to have tons of guys surrounding them, people calling on the phone, etc. You pretty much have to go out with them just to get to talk to them for more than a minute w/o being interrupted. And obviously, your odds of getting some action are MUCH higher after a date. ;) Maybe I should look into dating more.

Random Thoughts on the English Language #2

Who decided that a good word for the opposite of "constipated" would be "regular"?

Dating Thoughts #1: Blind Dates

A few years ago, for no specific reason, other than that they were rolling around in my head, I wrote down some thoughts I was having on the current state of affairs in the dating world here in Utah. A recent conversation with someone prompted me to go back and find them. I have decided to present them here for your enjoyment (as far as I know there are only 2 people who even know of this blog). Please take them with a grain of salt, and don't hate me for anything I might say that offends you. As I said these were all written down a few years ago, so aren't not related to, inspired by, or in reference to anything recent.

My plan is to post them one a day until they run out (I think there are about 3).

Anyway, here's #1:

Blind Dates: There's a reason its called "getting set up"

If one of your friends that is a girl wants to set you up with someone, its probably going to be one of their friends that doesn’t get asked out. Secondly, if she thinks you are such a great guy, and she is single, why does she want her friend to go with you, instead of asking you out herself?

If one of your guy friends wants to set up you up, it’s probably with someone good, although you ought to think, “Why is my friend not going out with her if she’s so great?”

This leaves married people as the only potentially safe sources of blind dates. However, married people seem to be of the philosophy that marriage is so great that we’re going to jump at the chance to go on a date with anyone they know who doesn’t happen to be seeing anyone currently. Pretty much the only criteria they go by is “they’re single and they’re LDS, it’s a match made in heaven.” Because married people love to play matchmaker. Despite the fact that its highly unlikely that they met each other on a blind date they just assume that their incredible ability to meet each other and fall in love qualifies them to be social coordinators for the rest of us.

A lot is said about how you could get lucky on a blind date and meet someone great. Problem is: you will probably know within a few minutes if you would consider asking this person out again. Unfortunately, you still have to spend a whole night if, and this is the most likely probability, they aren’t someone you are interested in.

So… here is some advice for those who like to set people up. Have the people meet beforehand in a no pressure social setting. In order for it to be no pressure, you need to make sure that neither one of them know that you want to set them up. Let them meet, and get to know each other without the pressure of either of them thinking, “Oh, I need to be not myself so that they will be interested in me” etc., etc.

Then, once they have already met each other in a non-dating situation, ask them if they are interested/would be willing to go out with each other. This way if they go, they already know the person, and what they are getting into. And if not, then you have avoided putting your friend(s) through a torturous night.

Technically speaking

I was just watching the Daily Show and Howard Dean was on as a guest. He was trying to say that Republicans are not really in touch with moral values. He said "I don't think it says anything about gay marriage in the Bible." And got a lot of applause. And technically he might be right. I think that the Bible comes down so strongly against homosexuality that the writers probably didn't think it was necessary to also add, "Oh, and don't marry people of the same sex, either." Thanks for pointing that out Mr. Dean. You are soooooo in touch with America's moral values.

He also added that he was a Christian. I thought that the Republican party was the party of "whites and Christians." I'd like to see both sides of an issue. But the democratic party is making it so hard for me to even consider voting that way. Of all the possible alternatives to the GOP, this is the best competition they can come up with?

To the alarm clock makers of the world

How long does it take for your alarm clock to wake you up? And I'm not talking about when its set to radio mode and maybe you lie there listening to the music for a while. I'm talking about the jail-break, prisoner-escaping, air-raid siren, screech mode. 1 second? 5 seconds? 10 seconds? Maybe a minute if you are made of stone?

The reason I ask is that I happen to live in an apartment building, and this morning, which happens to be a Sunday morning (one of the days that most people happen to sleep in), I was awakened at 7:30 to the sound of an alarm clock. Obviously it was not mine. I thought, maybe it is my roommate's alarm clock, since he is out of town. I got up to go see. Unfortunately it wasn't his. Slowly I realized that it was the alarm clock of our neighbors through the ceiling.

And how long did it happen to keep ringing? For the next hour! Apparently alarm clock manufacturers have decided that if the alarm doesn't wake them up right away, keep trying for the next 60 minutes. Who needs that in an alarm? If that thing doesn't wake you up in the first 5 minutes, you're not getting up. You are a dead body, a deaf person, or someone confined to their bed who will be deaf soon after an hour of that screech.

So two suggestions:
1) If you live in apartments have a little consideration for those who you don't know, but with whom you share a wall. If I owned a shotgun, I would have considered firing it repeatedly at the ceiling in the hopes of somehow stopping the alarm from going, saving the last shell for myself, to put me out of my misery.

2) If you are someone who has a lot of clout in the alarm clock world, suggest that perhaps 10 minutes of screeching be the maximum amount of time before the auto-shutoff.

Thank you and good night.

Enjoy the Moment

My biggest problem when it comes to girls is that I want to wait for some kind of sign that she's totally into me before I can overcome my shyness to ask them out. In the meantime, while I wait for something that probably won't happen, things tend to happen that discourage me. So before I even give her a chance to know that I'm interested I've decided that she isn't interested.

With that in mind I got a txt tonight that made me feel really good. And I'm not going to try to think ahead to what it might or might not mean, but I'm just going to go to sleep and enjoy the fact that things feel like they're leaning my way if even slightly. And maybe next week I'll have a date. Who knows?