Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Dating Thoughts #1: Blind Dates

A few years ago, for no specific reason, other than that they were rolling around in my head, I wrote down some thoughts I was having on the current state of affairs in the dating world here in Utah. A recent conversation with someone prompted me to go back and find them. I have decided to present them here for your enjoyment (as far as I know there are only 2 people who even know of this blog). Please take them with a grain of salt, and don't hate me for anything I might say that offends you. As I said these were all written down a few years ago, so aren't not related to, inspired by, or in reference to anything recent.

My plan is to post them one a day until they run out (I think there are about 3).

Anyway, here's #1:

Blind Dates: There's a reason its called "getting set up"

If one of your friends that is a girl wants to set you up with someone, its probably going to be one of their friends that doesn’t get asked out. Secondly, if she thinks you are such a great guy, and she is single, why does she want her friend to go with you, instead of asking you out herself?

If one of your guy friends wants to set up you up, it’s probably with someone good, although you ought to think, “Why is my friend not going out with her if she’s so great?”

This leaves married people as the only potentially safe sources of blind dates. However, married people seem to be of the philosophy that marriage is so great that we’re going to jump at the chance to go on a date with anyone they know who doesn’t happen to be seeing anyone currently. Pretty much the only criteria they go by is “they’re single and they’re LDS, it’s a match made in heaven.” Because married people love to play matchmaker. Despite the fact that its highly unlikely that they met each other on a blind date they just assume that their incredible ability to meet each other and fall in love qualifies them to be social coordinators for the rest of us.

A lot is said about how you could get lucky on a blind date and meet someone great. Problem is: you will probably know within a few minutes if you would consider asking this person out again. Unfortunately, you still have to spend a whole night if, and this is the most likely probability, they aren’t someone you are interested in.

So… here is some advice for those who like to set people up. Have the people meet beforehand in a no pressure social setting. In order for it to be no pressure, you need to make sure that neither one of them know that you want to set them up. Let them meet, and get to know each other without the pressure of either of them thinking, “Oh, I need to be not myself so that they will be interested in me” etc., etc.

Then, once they have already met each other in a non-dating situation, ask them if they are interested/would be willing to go out with each other. This way if they go, they already know the person, and what they are getting into. And if not, then you have avoided putting your friend(s) through a torturous night.

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