Can I just say that even now at age 27, dating is not an easy thing. Calling a girl and asking her out on a date, even when she, to date, has not fled, screaming, away from my prescence. From the very first time I asked a girl out down to the very last, there always is a feeling of almost crippling terror that seizes me as I make the phone call to ask a girl out. Why? I don't know. But whenever I make that call its like what I imagine jumping out of an airplane must be like. Once you've dialed the number there's pretty much no turning back, and yet you really aren't sure whats going to happen when they pick up on the other end.
Given that, the relief/elation/amazement that I get when she says that yes, she'd be willing to go to a restaurant with me and eat some food, is pretty much uncomparable as well. There's just something about asking someone out on a date that makes me feel so completely vulnerable that it feels like walking a tight rope. Even after having successfully completed numerous such calls.
So girls, if there are any girls who haven't already gotten bored by my descriptions of fast food and obscure presidents, please be nice when a guy calls to ask you out. If you don't want to go out, try to make it clear so he doesn't have to get shot down repeatedly. If you do want to go out, but can't at that day/time, say you'd like to go out another time. If you want to and can go out, let him know you are excited. Just some tips for helping us date, since its clear that you think we should.
3 comments:
J, I had no idea it was like that. Just in case, I always made sure the guy knew how excited I was to have been chosen by him to make that call to!
Near the end of my dating era (before I signed on permanently with one in particular), I got into the habit of requesting that the guy and I go dutch (when it was a blind date or a date with someone I didn't know very well). I heard so many guys ranting all the time about how expensive the trial-and-error method of dating can be. It's like $50 a date a lot of the time. $30 at dinner, $20 at the movies and that's just a basic evening. Do that with a dozen girls, and you've just blown a couple months' rent--on nothing, unless you're lucky.
It always made me more comfortable around the guy for some reason. I could relax and order whatever I wanted at the restaurant. I didn't feel guilty for not hitting it off with him. It's not as emasculating as insisting on footing the entire bill. It was always a win/win and the guys seemed to appreciate it. In fact, I think I posted it on my LinkUp profile that if they wanted to go out, I am game and I only go Dutch.
Maybe your female readers could try this. Or would it make you feel stupid?
I'm fine with going Dutch in theory, although I actually don't enough to be running out of rent money.
The thing is that I would never ask a girl out and expect her to have to pay anything. If she suggested we go Dutch, I might agree to it, but at the same time in the back of my mind I'd wonder if she was thinking less of me.
Did you go Dutch with your husband when you were first dating? I say first dating because later on in a relationship, I have no problem at all with the sharing of costs. Its more an issue when I am first getting to know someone.
Another great idea someone gave me that I haven't actually put into practice is to only accept blind dates if the people setting you up are willing to pay. If they care so much about you going out with someone, they ought to be willing to pay for it. But I think I'd feel like such a slimeball if I was asking someone to pay for my date.
J described the sensation perfectly.
I can liken it to something else, though my reference may be too obscure for most of you.
I fly radio control helicopters, and they are very expensive and do not handle crashes well at all. So when my helicopter is in the air, that's about $1500 at risk.
When I decided that it was time to try my first stationary loop, as the time approached, I realized that I had the same butterflies that I feel when I ask a girl out. When you are done, it leaves me slightly shaking, regardless of the outcome ($500 in repairs for me, discouragement and/or a broken heart for others). Some guys have no problem with it, and I don't know why that is. Maybe they don't have the same emotional investment. Either way, the whole experience for me is what it must be like taking a first skydive.
Post a Comment