McNostalgia

Last night at Institute our after class treat (funny how once you make it into the 25-30 year old class they start treating you like kindergarteners, not that I'm complaining) were some Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies. And I mentioned to Julene that they reminded me of the old "Chocolatey Chip Cookies" that McDonalds used to sell along side their McDonaldland Cookies. Obviously they weren't as popular as the McDonaldland Cookies, I mean who could expect to compete with animal crackers in the shapes of our favorite McDonalds characters, but once I was older and started working there, it became clear right away that they clearly were the superior cookie. Basically they looked like Cookie Crisp cereal, which I've never eaten due to my mother's insistence that a bowl full of cookies couldn't possibly count as breakfast. She felt the same way about Chocolate Pop-Tarts, which of course led to me buying them my first summer away from home.

Back to McDonalds, though. The topic got us talking about how McDonalds used to have a whole cast of kid-friendly characters (more on this later) and how now you almost never even see Ronald. I mean who doesn't remember the Ronald McDonald Christmas time ice skating commerical where he picks up the girl who can't skate and they have a great time. Thats says Christmas to me almost as much as watching Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. Now the best McDonalds can muster is a campaign telling me how much they are "lovin' it". Apparently kids no longer get to choose the restaurant or else today's kids just aren't swayed by cartoony characters with ties to menu items.

Just for fun, I decided to see if I could find some pictures of the McDonalds cast of characters. Here's what I was able to dig up:

Ronald:



Birdie the Early Bird:



Grimace:


*Note: As I was searching for images I found out that Grimace apparently was supposed to somehow represent McDonalds shakes. Like maybe he is made of shake mix? Not sure.

Hamburgler:



Mayor McCheese:



The Fry Guys aka The Fry Kids:



The McNuggets Buddies:



Big Mac:



*Note: Does anyone remember the playground equipment that included a gigantic Bic Mac head where you could climb up and look out. There were holes in the top of the hat, and also you could crawl around inside the Big Mac part. It had a bunch of bars where you could look out? I think we always called it Mayor McCheese but its clear to me now that it was actually Big Mac, judging from his hat.

Another obscure character that seems vaguely familiar to me was this pirate, Captain Crook:



And if that wasn't enough, here's a nice group shot:



Looking at this group shot I'm realizing that some playgrounds actually had that tree you could climb on. The tree was also featured prominently in the McDonaldland cookies. Must have been some kind of talking tree. Also on the far left there's a guy in white looking kind of like Moses. Some of the sites spoke of a character called "The Professor" who I know nothing about. I'm guessing thats him.

Random Thoughts on the English Language #5

Many times someone trying to make a point will say something like "let me reiterate...". How come you never hear some say "let me iterate"? I mean besides a computer programmer. But seriously, can you re-iterate without first having iterated?

A stroll down Halloween nostalgia lane

Last night I went over to a friend's house for some chili and cornbread and some Halloween movies. Little did I suspect that the Halloween movies would be a couple of videotaped programs from the early 80s. First we watched "Witches Night Out", which I have always remembered, but never had any idea what the name was. Basically a witch is feeling washed up until on Halloween she changes some kids into "real monsters" not just lame costumes. Basically they become a real werewolf, ghost, and Frankenstein's monster and scare some people in town until the witch teaches them that Halloween is a day when we can all be something different just for one day. Then everyone gets transformed and has a great time. This used to be on every year. The animation is pretty low budget, but I always thought it was great and is has a great theme song ("Halloween! -- A witch with magic, Halloween!")

Then we watched "Disney's Halloween Treat", which was some kind of Halloween special including clips from lots of Disney cartoons and movies. Why is it impossible to see any of these great Disney cartoons on TV any more? Not even the Disney channel shows Disney cartoons. What a travesty. Sadly I had to leave before we got to the end which included the "Legend of Sleepy Hollow" cartoon, a great Halloween classic.

But perhaps even the best thing about the whole tape was the commercials. The tape was made in 1984 and had some real gems, including a commerical for a potty-training baby doll ("Bye Bye Diapers"), a commerical for the Castle Greyskull He-Man set, and an Activision commercial for Atari games featuring a young Phil Hartman getting super excited to play some video hockey.

Handi-crapped

Never let it be said that I'm afraid of being a little politically incorrect.

I was just thinking that while often we curse handicapped people for the fact that they get all the best parking spots, and often require the entire remodelling of old buildings to make them wheelchair accessible, we should always think first to thank them. In this case, thank them for handicapped stalls in the bathroom.

If not for those often luxurious bathroom stalls, some of us would have to get to used to being packed in there like cattle. Think about it. The average handicapped stall is what? two, three times the size of a regular stall. Sometimes it takes up the whole end wall of the bathroom. I love going in there to take care of business. You've got lots of room to take off any coats, jackets, backpacks you might be wearing, instead of having to awkwardly stradle the commode as you'd have to in a regulation stall. No being so close to the next person over that you have to hear every minor detail of their own travails, poor saps who for some reason got stuck in the tiny stall. They also have those hand rails which come in handy for draping your newspaper or any other reading material you've brought with you over. Some handicapped stalls even have their own sink included. Its as close as you can get to homestyle waste elimination on the road.

And in contrast with handicapped parking stalls, there's no restriction on us regular folk using them. If only there were a way to work out parking the same way. But until then, I'll continue to handle my public restroom business in the big stall on the end.

My milk keeps going bad before its time

Is it me, or does milk go bad faster these days? As I always have a hard time finishing the half-gallon of milk that I buy in any kind of rapid fashion, I tend to base my milk purchases on which half-gallon has the latest "best by" date.

About a year or so ago, milk prices really took a jump. And then the only time you could get cheap milk was when it was nearly expired and it was on sale. For example, one day they had gallons of milk on sale for like a dollar or so, but then when you checked the date, it was like two days away. So basically if you could drink it that day, it was worth it, otherwise no. Lots of milk had a short time to expiration, and it was hard for me to even convince myself it was worth buying it.

Then over time, the expiration dates seemed to get further away. The funny thing is that the last couple half-gallons that I've purchased, have gone bad well before the expiration date. Is the date just for milk that hasn't been opened yet? I threw out just under a quarter gallon the other day because it clearly was going bad, even though it was still a week to go til the expiration date.

Anyway, I sure hope that its just been a fluke and that the integrity of the "best by" date has not been damaged.

Dell-icious? Pt. 2

So I've had my laptop for just over a year now. At some point during that time, one of the little rubber feet that go on the bottom of the laptop fell off. Then more recently, like in the last month or so, two more of them have fallen off. I would attribute this probably to the heat emitted from the bottom of the laptop drying the adhesive that is on them and causing them to detach.

Anyway, the lack of 3 of the 5 rubber feet has led to my laptop sitting very wobbly on a flat surface. So I decided I'd call Dell and see if I could find some replacement feet for it. Thus began my ordeal.

First I called the general purpose service line (1-800-WWW-DELL) and found out that because my computer had been purchased through an employee purchasing plan, I would need to speak to someone at a different number that handled corporate accounts.

I called this number only to find that it was only available during regular office hours. When I finally got around to finding a time during regular work hours, today, I talked to someone who told me that they would be covered by my warranty, which I thought had expired a few months earlier. She transferred me to someone else who would help process my needs. This guy however, told me that in fact my warranty was expired and that I would have to pay for replacements myself. This was what I had expected anyway, so I was okay with that.

Anyway, he says he has to transfer me to spare parts. At each step along the way, I am transferred to a new phone mail system which requires me to listen intently and make choices based on what, in my situation, seem like pretty silly options (press 3 if you are having trouble with a wireless connector, press 4 if you have installed windows XP), and then do some waiting on hold. Finally I get to someone at spare parts and she tells me that yes, the rubber feet that I need are in stock, and that each one costs $4.95. $4.95 a piece for little tiny rubber feet!

Anyway, at this point, I still need them, so that I don't go nuts as my computer wobbles back and forth on my desk. So I say ok. All the while, she is trying to upsell me to buy some extra replacement feet, just in case, or an extra battery, etc. Do you travel a lot? etc. etc.

No, I say, I just want the replacement feet.

Ok. They're $4.95 a piece and shipping is $8.00.

$8.00! I say. For four little rubber feet that altogether surely weigh less than a pound?! You've got to be kidding me.

Well we do send it by UPS or FedEx.

I don't care. I don't need them rushed to my door.

Oh, and the kicker, expect 3 to 5 days delivery.

I think I could overnight four tiny rubber feet for less than $8.00.

Well that's our minimum shipping charge, that's why I'm trying to get you to buy a battery or something else to maximize your shipping cost, some garbage like that.

No, I don't want anything else. I just want 4 rubber feet. Can't you just put them in an envelope and mail them to me? They can't be damaged in shipping. I don't need them today.

Then she tries to get me to apply for their Dell preferred Customer Credit program. For $28! Just in case...in case of what? In case my credit card can't cover $28?

Madness.

Anyway, I just paid $28 total for four tiny rubber feet for my laptop that will ship by October 12th (a week from today) and after shipping will take 3-5 days to arrive. Amazing what you can buy for $8.00 worth of shipping. They better come in a box made of gold or something.

Random Thoughts on the English Language #4: Imply vs. Exply vs. 1-ply

So if something is "implied" that makes it "implicit", right? But if some is explicit, is that because it was "explied". And if some can have "implications", why have I never heard of "explications"? Has there every been a warning about "implicit lyrics" on a CD?

And speaking of plys, shouldn't there be a law requiring 1-ply bathroom tissue to explain clearly, "exply" even, that it is in fact not 2-ply? Things like fishhooks have warning that they are not to be ingested, but we can't get a useful warning about 1-ply toilet paper? C'mon America. I expect better of you.

Some of my birthday gifts

For my recent birthday I received some gifts from my friends, which always comes as a huge bonus, as I don't really expect anything. Maybe this is because I don't usually give gifts, other than CDs, but thats a whole other story.

Anyway I just wanted to make a blog post here, to let them know that I appreciated their gifts and also since two of the big gifts that I got were gift cards, I wanted to post some pictures of what I got with my gift cards.

First of all, I got the Newsies DVD from Kelsey and Alicia, which they correctly assumed was a favorite of mine since we had just been watching it the week before and I had gotten myself in trouble by singing along with all the songs.



Then from a group of gals that I know (Lorri, Becky, Wendy, Robyn, and Emily) I got two gift cards, one from Best Buy, and one from American Eagle, which they got me because I said that I never buy things from stores with wood floors. Also I was told that I couldn't buy a hoodie at AE. Apparently I have too many of those already. But as my roommate Rob says,"can you really have too many hoodies?" I actually might (I have at least 7 that I can think of off the top of my head).

Anyway, at Best Buy I bought the first two seasons of News Radio on DVD:



And put the remainder of the money towards an adapter that converts a car cigarette lighter power source into something you can plug regular devices into. Mainly because I am heading out to Omaha this weekend with my family and we wanted to be able to watch DVDs on my laptop along the way. (If you've never driven from Utah to Omaha, there's not much to see along the way).

And at American Eagle, I looked around unsuccessfully for quite a while, trying to find something that a) didn't look like it had been on the floor of someone's dorm room for a couple weeks, and b) actually came in a size that would fit me. (Apparently AE's normal clientele don't usually wear XL or XXL). But as I was about to give up and return in a few months to see what they had of new stuff, I found this shirt that was to my liking:



(I don't know why they took the picture of a white shirt against a white background, but oh well).

In addition to the gifts pictured above, I also received an inflatable pool raft, perfect for such high-skill pool manuvers as the superman, reverse superman, and midpool rollover (both front-to-back, and back-to-front) from Anne Schmidt; a new suitcase from my parents, some pajama pants from my parents which I returned and exchanged for two shirts (also with collars and buttons) (I had to chip in a bit to get both shirts, but the value was more than one); and I also got a card and some money from my grandparents. Oh, I can't forget the pretzel treats that my sister-in-law made for me while she was out visiting.

I think that pretty much sums it up, although my mom did say that she was going to find me a Grantsville Cowboys shirt since I had asked for one and she couldn't find one yet.

Thanks to everyone who gave me a gift, even if it was just your presence or thoughts on my birthday.

Chris-miss in September

Can the puns get any worse? I submit that they cannot! But they just keep coming.

In memorandum of Chris moving to Chicago, I just thought I'd write down some stuff that remind me of him. First of all, there's all the technologies that I wouldn't even know about, much less make use of daily without Chris having shown it to me/convinced me it was worth my time:

Flickr
Picasa
RSS
Del.icio.us
Gmail
Firefox
Pushing the camera button in halfway to focus before taking the picture

And the things he says that make me laugh, like:

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Francamente, no me importa
C'mon, C'mon (Not sure what the phonetic spelling on this one should be, so you'll have had to heard it to understand)
Easy, Big fella
You can derelict my malls, capitan
Around the Hoooorn
Jeremy Schaap(sp?), EeeSPN
Rachel Nichols, ESPeNNNN

Other ways he influenced my life include:

Not hating the Yankees completely
Being able to watch golf w/o falling asleep
Happy memories of Tony and Mike on PTI
Proving that church lessons can actually be very well prepared

Other random memories:

Jamba Juices after Institute last year
The neverending bleeding knee, and the time that he used dirt to stop the bleeding
Halo nights with the roomies (Perhaps our most successful roommate activity)
"My roommate wants to know if we've kissed"
OM^2

And of course we can't forget how totally Troy and I dominated him at Settlers of Catan over probably a two month period this summer, culminating in Chris finally getting a couple wins near the end of the free trial period.

Thanks for the memories Chris. Good luck at law school.

Saying goodbye

Funny how pepole come and go in our lives. And how even when in your mind you know that they are leaving, perhaps for good, it doesn't really sink in at the time. At least for me, thats the way it is. I never miss people before they're gone. And even for a while after. Its kind of sad that you have to say goodbye right then, before you can truly appreciate all that you'll miss once they are gone. We should have some kind of delayed farewell system, where a month or two afterwards you can tell people what it is that you miss about them and do it with some real feeling.

PSA (Public Speed Announcement)

I think that 1300 East in Salt Lake City is one of the worst road to drive on, and yet somehow I have convinced myself that its the fastest way for me to get to school and church and back.

My biggest problem with it (now that they repaved the section between 2100 S and 500 S) is that on the section between my house (approx. 4500 S) and 3300 S, people don't even drive the speed limit. Its a 40 mph section, but everyone drives 30 or 35 at best. Unlinke other places I drive, I actually get excited when they put out those trailers that show the speed limit and then have a display that says "Your speed" with a radar gun, because I always hope that people will see it and go, "Oh, wow, its 40 here. I can speed up." Its laughable because everytime I drive past one anywhere, I have to slow down, but on 1300 E, I'm always stuck going 5 or 10 below. Today, there was one position right near to where I live, and as always I was doing 34 in a 40 as I drove by with no slowing down to please the radar gun. So, hopefully, we'll see some increased speeds as a result.

Fa-MUSS

As football season begins tonight, I thought I'd share my own personal fame with anyone out there who happens to read this. About a week ago, a friend of mine emailed me to inform me that he had seen my picture on the side of a campus shuttle up at the U in my jester hat that I wear to the footgall games.

I have yet to confirm this personally, but I did find a flyer advertising the MUSS (the student football fan club) with my face easily recognizable on it.

Since then I have had at least two other independent sources confirm that, yes, my picture was on the side of the campus shuttles.

Here are some pictures I scanned in of the flyer. First of the whole thing:



and second an up close view:



Thats me in the jester hat, above the second 's' in MUSS. It almost seems as though they made sure to fit the text around me. Or maybe thats just my ego kicking in, either way, its kind of fun. :)

Its Racism...Hooray Racism!

One of my favorite shows on ESPN is PTI where Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon debate the lastest happening in sports. One of the sponsors of late is Red Stripe Beer (Motto: Its Beer...Hooray Beer!) and their commercials are quite humerous and entertaining. One of the talks about how white people can't dance and then the spokesperson turns on a radio and gives the white guy a Red Stripe and then they both dance. The commercial then says "Red Stripe and reggae, helping our white friends dance for over 70 years!"

I was just thinking, what if it was a PSA for Affirmative Action that ended by saying "Affirmative Action, helping our non-white friends get jobs they don't deserve for over 40 years!" We'd have people up in arms about racism.

I guess it must just be because white people are so much better (or is it just because we're better off) that we have to put up with people taking shots at us, while anything going the other way is totally offensive?

Directional activities

So tonight at Institute the announced there's some Bar-B-Hootenany activity coming up. Aside from the fact that I could barely look myself in the face if I were to go to some with that name, it got me thinking. Its supposed to be some kind of western-style activity, right? Well, why have we all heard of a western-style activity, but we really would be clueless if there was an eastern-style activity, or northern-style. Or dare I say southern-style? Whats up with that?

Random Thoughts on the English Language #3

I'm sure we all know someone who is 'inept'. But how many 'ept' people do you know?

The Persistence Theory

As I was re-reading some of my recent posts, I realized that I had alluded to a Persistence Theory upon which I was going to expound, but which as of yet has gone un-expounded upon.

If I were to name this Theory after someone it would probably be Rhett Butler. No, not THE Rhett Butler. A guy in my high school's name happened to be Rhett Butler. Perhaps his famous name endowed him with some kind of overactive ego, but for the most part the guy was an overbearing jerk whose lack of self-esteem translated into treating everyone else like crap.

Anyway, there was a girl, Kelly, whom Rhett was interested in. And being the ultra-confident fellow that he was, he proceeded to date her, despite the fact that she was obvious too classy for him, and that he belonged with her the way mustard belongs with peanut butter. But here's the thing, they're married now. Not, to my knowledge, because he changed and became a great guy. No, just because he stuck it out.

I think most of us guys know a guy like this, who ends up with a girl out of his league because he is willing to be a jerk and not give up and just keep asking a girl out even when she's made it abundantly clear that she is not interested. Where most of us would not have the nerve to continue on after she's been clearly disinterested, some of us are willing to carry on as though things are fine. Eventually something changes in the girl and they end up together. And so the persistence theory is born.

The theory is that pretty much a guy can get any girl if given enough time to continue dating her or at least attempting to date her. If she isn't assertive enough to tell him to leave her alone in no uncertain terms, eventually she comes around to see things his way. If you, as a guy, are willing to persevere through the crappy time when she is obviously not interested and force her to be mean and up front with you, chances are that things will work out in the end.

Why is this? Is it because by sticking around for so long, you scare away any other potential suitors? Is it because, in a moment of depression and loneliness a girl can be convinced that you are the best she'll ever get? I don't know. Maybe the ladies can help me out with this one.

Sadly, I have not found that I am able to persevere enough to put this theory into practice on the grand scale, although with the one girl I seriously dated, there was a period at the beginning where I really had no idea what she was thinking about me and was just kind of winging it on my own without any kind of signals on her part. In general, though, the last place I want to be is some place where I'm not wanted. I hate to think that I'm the guy that every wishes would just go away and leave them alone. Because there are people like that and they never seem to know what everyone thinks about them. I hope I'm not that guy.

Addendum - 1/3/06: My older brother who happens to be married to Kelly's cousin and graduated with both of them informs me that I should point out that they are happily married and have 3 children and that Rhett does have some redeeming qualities. I assume this must be true and that really as a high school sophmore I didn't have a lot of interaction with so I'm limited by what things I did see.

He (my brother) also thinks that girls usually value the commitment shown by the persistor as that is something they tend to look for in men.

Whats the Deal with Aisle Sitters?

You know who they are. They're the first ones there, wherever there is. School, Church, some kind of sporting event. They get there before everyone else and then decide to sit right next to the aisle, requiring everyone else to have to squeeze to get through to the rest of the seats. Then they have the nerve to act put out that someone is rude enough to squeeze past them, even though we really have no other options.

In some situations this can be a huge hassle. In a whole bunch of my Computer Science courses we had aisle sitters, so finally I decided that any time I had to squeeze past one of these people, I was going to not-so-accidentally bump them a good one. Its not really in my nature and I don't recall how long I kept it up, but certainly I did it on several ocassions and always it felt good.

Another question that was raised in one of the "Letters from a Nut" books related to this topic is "What is the proper way to slide past these people?" Do you put your butt or your crotch in their face? There's really no nice way to put it.

So for future reference, if you are the first one there, do everyone a favor and slide in to the middle of the row, or if not, stand up and set out of the aisle when people are entering.

Fear of ... failed success?

As I contemplate the reasons that I don't date more than I do now, I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm not so much scared of rejection, although it does kind of suck when you are interested in someone and they give you the old shaft-eroo. No, I think its more that I am afraid of having to break up with someone. That they will like me but I won't like them back.

This fear probably stems from the series of painful breakups that I experienced with the one girl that I dated for month than a couple months.

So basically, I'm more afraid that people will will like me and I not like them back than the other way round.

Is that messed up or what?

Stubbornness

Have you ever been told to do something or not to do something by someone that has your best interest in mind and yet all it makes you want to do is the opposite. I'm a pretty stubborn person in that sense, and when someone gives me some unsolicited advice my natural reaction is to go 180 degrees the opposite direction. I've learned though that if I wait a few days before doing anything that I can let the advice sink in and then I'm more willing to give it a shot. I think this is because after mulling it over for a few days I feel more like its my decision and that I'm not just doing what someone told me to do.

Some advice for the ladies

A day or two ago, I had a nice chat with a good friend of mine who has become active in the church recently (over the course of the last two or three years) and he said to me, "Ever since I started dating Mormon girls, things have just been way harder. Sometimes I think they are interested in me, so I ask them out and then make up excuses or dog me out or whatever."

So on to the advice for the ladies: We're grown up. We can take it if you aren't interested. Just let us know. Once we've made it obvious that we are interested, just let us know whether you are or not, so that we can both get on with our lives if the interest isn't mutual. Let's not waste 4 months on "Does she like me?" Don't suggest that maybe you'll change your mind, or maybe you were just busy that one time. Be clear. And by obvious and clear, we mean OB-VI-OUS and C-L-E-A-R. Like obvious enough that a guy could actually realize. Not in some obscure, "I didn't laugh at his jokes as loud as before" kind of way.

And don't give psycho guys ideas by finally giving into some guy who's been hounding you for years. The persistance theory has proven effective too many times because girls just think that no one else is interested. And if you don't know about the persistance theory, I'll spell it out tomorrow.